[Guest post by Evette Rose, author of Finding Your Own Voice and Metaphysical Anatomy. Visit her website, www.EvetteRose.com]
I met someone recently that I would describe as a strong feminine figure who radiated a goddess vibe. I felt so inspired when I met her. She was so graceful, calm and powerful and she knew exactly where she was heading with her life and future. I thought to myself, ‘I wish some of that could rub off on me.’ The thought barely left my mind when I realized that if she can become so amazingly powerful and confident in herself then so can I!
We all share the same essence, abilities and strengths. It is what we chose to do with it that results in us going in different yet powerful directions.
When you allow the goddess and feminine power within to come out, then that does not mean that you have to be someone else or behave like your role model. Who you are is what makes you unique, beautiful, empowered and confident. We stop feeling empowered when we are not being true to ourselves. We disconnect from our own strength when we try to following in someone else’s footsteps. It is great to have role models to admire and look up to. Though it does become debilitating when we wish we were this role model instead of being ourselves. The only thing that sets you apart from this role model is that they are standing confident in their shoes and you might still be finding yourself, exploring your talents and deciding where you want to go next in your journey. There is nothing wrong with this, it’s only a phase. I always say to my clients that women are like cats. No matter how hard we fall in life, we always land on our feet and then we keep going!
There are a few things that I have learned about becoming powerful. Being powerful does not mean that we have to stomp our feet to be heard. We can be powerful and graceful at the same time. I do not need to draw my power from outside resources anymore. I do not need others to fulfill me either. I am happy with who I am, including my flaws.
Never use your anger as a source of power to set boundaries. You are coming from a place of fear and not feeling that you deserve to be listened to and respected. Anger is an end result of feeling disempowered. Why do you feel disempowered? Who made you feel this way? Why did you allow it? Set boundaries and say no because you feel worthy of saying no. The more we heal ourselves the freer we feel emotionally, physically and spiritually. It is important to heal our childhood trauma, especially when we were punished for saying no.
If we don’t access our own strength then a big part of us will start to become depressed. We are not utilising what we have. Instead we look for it else where and we abandon what we already have. You will not come into this life without all the necessary tools and resources to complete your journey. You might sometimes feel like a victim because you have allowed yourself to become dependent on controlling people or disempowered by circumstances that are overwhelming. You allowed yourself to believe insults that made you feel stupid and not good enough. When you really look at it closely, do you honestly see and feel the truth in the insults, judgment and criticism? I never do. Its other people’s projections who quite clearly do not know me very well and they probably have no intention too either, otherwise they would not have said something with the intention to upset me.
The more I spring cleaned my childhood pain, the less I started to overcompensate for the lack of love, control, nurturing and safety I had in my childhood. This resulted in me not needing to look for love, safety and nurturing in other people anymore. I found that source of love within. It was there all along! When we heal our emotional unmet needs during our childhood, we stop feeling that something is missing in our life. You start to feel more and more fulfilled.
We should always try our best to speak the truth. It lightens your energy and it keeps your inner light shining bright. When your truth upsets someone, then it only triggered something that they might need to look at. The more you speak the truth, the less burdened you will feel. You create more space for yourself to grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
Being a goddess is to love every aspect of yourself and accepting yourself just as you are. We should never give your power away for the sake of acceptance. You should know what your self-worth and value is. You don’t need others to define who you are.
There is no use in trying to be someone else. If you were meant to be someone else then you would have come into this life as that person. You are who you are and the rest of the world will accept you, when you accept yourself. The more your reject yourself, the more this world is going to send people and circumstances into your life that is going to validate this rejecting cycle. It will only reinforcing feelings of rejection.
When you truly allow the goddess to come out you will notice how you just love your body, every shape, angle and size of it. The need to be better and different dissipates. You will have more fun with what you already have instead of wishing for more or something else. You put your make-up on because its’ fun and you are a woman and it’s your right to use it and play with it. The need to wear make-up to cover your insecurities will also dissipate. Using make-up should be fun and not motivated by hidden insecurities. Wear what you want and when you want. I always say that everyday is a beautiful day. I love to dress up and to wear whatever reflects my mood. When you look after yourself, you automatically feel good and then everyone in your life benefits.
Now, repeat after me, ‘I have paid a high enough price holding onto my _ _ _ I choose to let it go now. I embrace my sensuality. I am beautiful just as I am. I am a Goddess!’