Dealing with criticism – how do I do?

As I’ve written about before, if you aren’t attracting some criticism and debate then you aren’t doing your job right. [See: My article about Speaking My Truth and Tim Ferriss on Benefits of Pissing People Off.] My job is to get people thinking about new ideas. Some of you love my ideas. Some of you hate my ideas but you still read the blog because it gets you thinking (and that’s the whole point isn’t it?). I read lots of people’s blogs and when I disagree I leave a polite comment explaining why I disagree.

I really value reader comments and feedback. Mostly they are supportive even from people who disagree. Sometimes an email is particularly critical. Provided it is more than just mere abuse, I like to take the time to reflect and consider if there’s something in it for me. After all the Law of Attraction dictates that we attract our abuse (not that we deserve it, just that we need to heal the part of us that makes us vulnerable to it).

I received an interesting comment 2 days ago on our Divine Intervention article which was unique for a number of reasons. Usually I can find common ground, but in this case I disagreed with every single point he made. It gave me plenty to think about and brought up some father issues I was able to clear.

One thing he said though really got me thinking.  I’ve decided to publish Dalben’s comment as a full article because I want your feedback on whether I attack people who disagree with me.

If anything, I think that I’m being too nice because of my dislike of confrontation. If Tim Ferriss is right (see above link), I would do more good in the world by wearing that flak jacket and creating a lot more noise.

There’s not really any debate about what he’s doing – projecting his trauma on to me. The debate and issue is about how well I deal with it. Am I compassionate enough? Too much? Is there a time and place for just giving people a kick in the metaphorical ass?

See if you can make it through his letter and my reply so that you can give me feedback how well I handled his comments. Try to keep an open mind about his comments so you can tell me if I’m missing something valid.

Here goes:

Simon

I came across this website because a friend of mine said I would find it interesting on a specific level, and I do, as to what level I will get into that in a bit.
I would like to start out with a little about myself – I am currently an IT administrator for a software development company that still has had growth over the economic down turn. I am also the sole income provider for a family of four and while we are living within our means with very little in debt (i.e. one car loan, and a student loan ) we are still well above the poverty level one might even say upper middle class if those terms still apply. That is me as I am today, though in my opinion where I came from has much to do with who I am today. So now really for what makes up “Dalben”.

I was an adopted child which is the reason which lead to abandonment issues and was adopted by the age of 4 months. I left home telling my father to “f- off “ that he wasn’t my real father which lead to me being homeless for 2 and a half years in center city Philadelphia, during which time I did many things for which I am ashamed and some of which I still haven’t found it in myself to forgive myself. You may ask yourself why I ended up on the street – very simply I was trying to subconsciously kill myself due to feelings of worthlessness, abandonment and so on. I almost got my wish I was shot at with the bullet narrowly missing my head from point blank range (if I hadn’t of fallen it would have gone through my forehead. The range was 3 feet (he was across a desk from me)) doing one of those things that I am ashamed of. I am lucky to be alive.

Now as I said I was trying to kill myself subconsciously I know that now so according to LOA I shouldn’t have gotten off the street all those negative vibrations, and it wasn’t until I was off the street that I had finally dealt with those feelings.

I managed to get off the street partially due to the kindness of one really good person who gave me a job (after losing money to me at my shell table) and allowed me to sleep in the stock room of the convenience store he ran until I could afford a place of my own.

From working in that convenience store as a clerk I got my own place again, rebuilt my life, moved to cooking at a Denny’s graveyard shift for more money until I could rebuild my relationship with my parents (which required relocating states) which had it’s own reasons for suicidal thoughts and feelings of worthlessness but a desire to make it up to them kept me alive.

While rebuilding that relationship I got back in to IT, for a number of years, ended up working for a multinational company that had me traveling and eventually was promoted to heading up the IT department for Europe, which of course required a move.

While based in Europe I worked for that company for an additional 3 years then was made redundant so I took up bouncing in a bar, and then stand up and improve comedy and met my wife. We moved back to north America which brings us back to the present. Sorry for the long wind to get to this.

I should be dead, I am not … LOA doesn’t explain it not in the least, just like it doesn’t explain the countless members of MLMs like Amway who are living in squalor with their “Positive thought” brainwashing technique (I have a few former friends who are part of that with all the “inspirational messages” posted on their walls truly believing they are happy while their wife left them and their children are being taken away …. )

You also mention that this blog is to flesh out new ideas and thoughts in one of your posts, yet the items I see throughout this blog have been around for a millennia either in the form of the “Dream time” of the Australian aboriginals, or countless other Shamantic beliefs that have been around north and south America that are considered today to be “New Age” there are also shades of Taoist teachings and other eastern philosophies that have been brought together in a way that really isn’t all that original at all ( look back over the 60’s 70’s and early 80’s and you will see these same topics and messages discussed here were brought up then ) and the difference was in the 60’s they weren’t trying to charge you to teach them to you that didn’t start until mid 70’s EST was one of the for runners for making a buck off this though for them it was more “Self Help”.

I am sorry if this all seemed like an attack it is just reading over your blog for a couple of days now and everything about it reminds me of what I saw on the street about a hustle – from how you contradict yourself (and yes I re read your blog over and over ) to how you first call those that talk to their guides requiring “help” then backing up and saying she misunderstood when a woman talks about a very real fear that she might be going crazy because she does talk to her guides .. you back peddled so fast it makes my head spin .. to me you are nothing more than a conman of the EST variety and a dangerous one at that because you attack those who view things differently to you yet claim to be open. You claim to have been a lawyer yet can’t catch your own contradictions. Sorry you just come off like Jimmy who sold “Rolexes” down on Lombard street, or Eddie who was just outside the Blue Note at second and south or myself when I ran my shell game just outside of Market Street live years ago.

Dalben

I suspect that every single person reading it can see what Dalben cannot, which is that he’s still carrying that trauma from life on the streets, and projecting it at people who trigger a certain authority energy. I can see the pattern, but the question is how to deal with it? Here goes.

Hi Dalben

Thank you for your letter.
I value reader feedback. With respect to you for taking the time to write, I find that I fundamentally disagree with your comments.

More than a mere difference of opinion, I feel that you were disingenuous, perhaps intentionally misrepresenting me.  You made repeated statements about me that directly conflict what I’ve written on this blog.  You claimed to have read my blog yet everything you wrote is inconsistent with who I am. (I will demonstrate this point by point.)

I believe you did read my blog – bits of it. But I think you read it in the same way you walk through your daily life – through a filter that blocks anything that threatens your trauma identity or woundendess.  [We all do this, but the more trauma someone has been through, the more obvious the block to their perception.]

I believe you attack anyone who might pull you out of the trauma you are so attached to. [Again, very common for anyone who has been through what you have been through.]

It’s important to me, and I think to other readers, to address your comments point by point. Whilst my reply will be firm, I endeavor to reply with compassion.

Impact of past trauma – projected at others

What I know for sure is that you still carry the trauma of your adoption (abandonment) and homelessness.  It colors your sense of justice and how you see the world. The blatantly untrue things you say about me can only be explained with reference to this trauma. Since you have rejected RPT as a tool, I hope you find some other tool which is effective in clearing trauma.

Incidentally yours is not the first attack I have received from people with your background. I had a very similar experience with an ex-junkie, now a teacher of TH modality. I was confused by that unprovoked attack till a mutual friend (the founder of TH) pointed out that it’s normal for junkies/homeless people to fear and attack those associated with authority (police/lawyers) and also to project this at anyone trying to help them. It’s what makes working with the homeless so hard. I recognize that same energy in you.  I just hope I deal with it better than I did last time I was confronted by the same attack.

New versus old ideas

> You also mention that this blog is to flesh out new ideas and thoughts
> in one of your posts, yet the items I see throughout this blog have
> been around for a millennia … brought together in a way that really
> isn’t all that original at all

You are fundamentally misrepresenting me, to the point that you look like you are on some sort of vendetta.

There is no doubt that Reference Point Therapy is something totally new. For example, our most profound healing technique, the Art of Re-Conception, is completely original, I have never heard of anything vaguely like it.

And yet, it is also ancient. I didn’t make it up out of the blue. It draws together 10 different schools of spiritual thought and psychological research. Most obviously Tao, Tantra and Breathwork.

I could make the same point about every single technique and every page on this blog. Everything is new and everything is ancient.

Similarly for my spiritual beliefs (which are quite separate to my practical techniques).  I am well aware that my ideology is similar to the Tao. And yet it’s very new. The Tao didn’t know about DNA and could not have written about the interplay between biology and spirituality, or between enlightenment and epigenetics. So I take ancient ideas and modern science and see where I can unite them.  In my own small way I contribute to what the masters have already written. That is the definition of progress.

I am a published academic and a trained researcher. I know what “new” means. It doesn’t mean “pulled it out of a hat” it means I have read thousands of books, articles, case studies, etc, I have done hundreds of courses, and I have accumulated that knowledge into something that’s original. I state this frequently, and with a detailed bibliography.

For you to misrepresent my claim to “newness” as you did is either a huge misunderstanding on your part or deliberate deceit. (I feel it is a bit of both.)

In yesterday’s blog article I address the “newness” in more detail and quoted my NLP teacher Chris Howard: “If I stand tall, it’s because I stand on the shoulders of those that came before me.” That is the very definition of “newness” in scientific progress.

Charging money for my metaphysical ideas? Never!

> look back over the 60′s 70′s and early 80′s and you will see these
> same topics and messages discussed here were brought up then ) and the
> difference was in the 60′s they weren’t trying to charge you to teach
> them to you that didn’t start until mid 70′s

The newness I’ve dealt with, but about charging – where?

Tell me wise one, where’s my heavy sell been? I spend 10-20 hours a week preparing material for the blog, replying to comments, clearing the spam etc. Where’s my request for money?

I have done the exact opposite of what you suggest. Following the inspiration of TFT, I’ve been giving our material away for free. We give away our basic (Level 1) methods for free, I spent thousands of dollars producing instructional videos that I put on my website for free.

What makes your comment sillier is you aren’t even talking about my healing methods (half of which I give away); you are talking about my philosophy. My ideas and philosophy are not related to the RPT method. You know that because you read the disclaimer in this article you commented on.  You know they are different and you know I never charged for hearing my metaphysical ideas.

In short your behavior is deceitful. You read in black and white on this page that these are personal ideas, not RPT method. You saw that I never asked for money. I kept a business (RPT) and my armchair philosophy (this blog) quite separate. And you respond to my transparency and integrity by accusing me of trying to sell stuff that was free in the 1960s?

You couldn’t possibly be more wrong – both on the selling and on the ideas being there in the 1960s (epigenetics wasn’t even heard of then!).

I do hope by now you understand why I feel that your trauma has clouded your eyes and your judgment. You could not possibly be more untrue or more unjust if you tried.

Hustling for $

> I am sorry if this all seemed like an attack it is just reading over
> your blog for a couple of days now and everything about it reminds me
> of what I saw on the street about a hustle

Amusing. Find me the hustle.

Seriously.  I never have told a lie to make a sale. Unlike your Lombard Street boys.

If this blog was dedicated to sales, hustle or making money then it’s an abject failure. I don’t make money from RPT. This blog is dedicated to sharing ideas and my own sense of fun.

About contradictions

> – from how you contradict yourself (and yes I re read your blog over
> and over )

No mate you didn’t read the blog over. You read a couple of articles and chose to blatantly misquote me. If you had read it over and over you would at least have given examples of these apparent contradictions.

Look, I had thought this was clear, but let me spell it out:

  1. I make no claims to be perfect. I am NOT A GURU. (find me someone else in my industry who says that?)
  2. This blog is my way of formulating and exploring new ideas. The new ideas about the unity of spirit and biology have not been written about before, and they are still fermenting on this blog;
  3. I’ve been blogging for 3 years, and my ideas have changed a lot in that time. In fact when I started RPT I still worked with “Creator” (you can see that in some of the early instant healing videos) before deciding that I was my creator. Yes this appears to be a contradiction if you forgot the time spam involved and how I acknowledge each change.

I do believe you have found the odd contradiction. So what? This doesn’t make you God and doesn’t give you the right to make the judgments you made. Yes you survived the street, it doesn’t make you wiser than every other reader here, only more cynical and jaded.

Odds on my contradictions are either a mistake I made (and I make many) or you merely misunderstood me. I’m also learning and growing at a rapid rate so frankly I might say something next week inconsistent with last week. That does not give you the right to say the abusive things you said.

About backpedalling

> to how you first call those that talk to their guides requiring “help” then
> backing up and saying she misunderstood when a woman talks about a
> very real fear that she might be going crazy because she does talk to
> her guides .. you back peddled so fast it makes my head spin ..

Seriously? You didn’t even understand her question. You are so eager and desperate to attack me you read neither her question nor my reply. You are right about your head spinning at least.

That reader you refer to confused my comment about one modality (TH) with a comment about all spirituality. I took the blame for this confusion. You’re darned right I backpedalled – I can’t have a blatant misunderstanding like that on my conscience. She was scared.

If you had room in your heart for compassion instead of the cynicism of the streets, you would understand that there was no other way I could have replied to her. Instead you took an example of compassion and turned it into some sort of argument against me. Your behavior is bizarre.

This is what happens when people bury their childhood trauma under the veneer of a “functioning adult life.” The trauma doesn’t go away, it’s like a poison that infests your judgment of reality. (By definition you will disagree with me, so I say this only to help other readers who are reading this tête-à-tête.)

About con-men and EST

> to me you are nothing more than a conman of the EST variety

Really? Who am I conning? What am I selling? No one has to read this blog.

There’s no product pitch. I’m just sharing ideas which are new for ME (even if you’ve read them all before). It’s a free world, if people don’t like my ideas they won’t return. We get a several thousand unique visits a week so somebody’s reading it and I’m sure they aren’t being conned because I’ve never asked my readers for more than a comment or Facebook “Like.”

This is another good example of how you are so quick to project your hurt and to attack that you have lost all sight of reality.

I don’t know enough about EST and don’t wish to sidetrack this discussion by whatever run-in you had with them.

Attacking my readers?

> and a dangerous one at that because you attack those who view things
> differently to you yet claim to be open.

With the exception of your email, I have always been able to find something that my critics and I agree with.  Even for you I am taking the time to write a compassionate and I hope helpful reply.  It is worth it just for the chance that you will admit some of your false judgments and seek help for the way in which you project your trauma at others.

About lawyers and other bloodsuckers

> You claim to have been a lawyer yet can’t catch your own contradictions.

LOL… You have a high opinion of lawyers!

The thing about lawyers is that we are very good at looking at a single document in front of us and finding the contradictions. Put it all in front of me and yes, I can do that.

This blog represents 3 years of changing and evolving thought. I would be more worried if there were no contradictions after 3 years. It would mean I was stuck in the past.

Also, in trying to appeal to and address both the left and right, I will use different language at different times and it might sometimes like a contradiction till you dig deeper. Example: I used the term “spiritual atheist.” Yet I believe in god (but not the religious god).

These look like a contradiction, but not to anyone who knows the Tao. So I suggest your contradictions you discovered are either proof that my ideas are evolving as I learn and grow, or you didn’t dig deep enough yet.

> Sorry you just come off like Jimmy who sold “Rolexes” down on Lombard
> street, or Eddie who was just outside the Blue Note at second and
> south or myself when I ran my shell game just outside of Market Street
> years ago.

Sorry that you are projecting your old stuff at me again. The thing about Jimmy and Eddie was that they were just trying to make a buck in order to survive. You can forgive them for what they did for money. Like you on the streets, they lied and stole from people in order to survive. I have compassion for that.

Unlike you I have never lied or stolen or for that matter needed money. I am blessed to be an abundance magnet (blame the rare good side of my Jewish genes!). I’m not saying this to show off, only to point out how ridiculous it is that compare me to your hustlers.

What you failed to appreciate is that I do not make money from the blog, or from RPT. I donated RPT to charity several years ago. You claim to have read my blog but you didn’t even bother with the About page or you’d know that. Sad really.

[I can't actually emphasize that enough. You judged me and abused me and my work but you didn't bother to read the About page that explains where I'm coming from???  I am finding it hard to account for your behavior.]

Unlike you and your desperate friends from Lombard street, I have no needs. I live a dream life in paradise and I try to help others to achieve that. I blog and teach for fun. I do not do this in order to survive. Hence your comparison is just, well, ridiculous.

I suppose your unfair judgment really annoyed me because of just how much Evette and I do to help the community. Had you actually bothered to read my blog (instead of just claiming to have read it) you would have learned about the free healing clinic we set up in Vanuatu. You would know that we donate our time and money to the local community. I give my healing work for free to people who deserve it. Yet you dare to accuse me of being a hustler?

Reflect on your own income, the lies you had to tell to get it (don’t tell me the corporate IT world is not a hustle), and then dare to tell me again that I remind you of your hustlers from Lombard Street.

You make comparisons and judgments that are so far from the truth it is depressing. I can only hope you get something out of this reply. Spend at least 1 minute thinking about how badly you have misjudged me. Not for my sake (I’m am not important in your life), but for the sake of your family, colleagues and the hundreds of others you must be doing this to on a daily basis.

Divine Intervention and Law of Attraction

Your mistakes and misjudgments aside, there was a philosophical point I believe you were trying to make. Something quite relevant to this page on Divine Intervention.

> Now as I said I was trying to kill myself subconsciously I know that
> now so according to LOA I shouldn’t have gotten off the street all
> those negative vibrations, and it wasn’t until I was off the street
> that I had finally dealt with those feelings. …
> I should be dead, I am not . LOA doesn’t explain it not in the least

I’m sorry for what you went through and glad you survived. But to suggest that you are somehow the exception to LOA or the proof that it doesn’t work is merely a lack of understanding about LOA.  You are (once again) judging from a place of ignorance instead of truth.

At best you are disproving the very superficial version of LOA found in movies like The Secret. That is not our model and it is certainly not the truth (because it doesn’t work for the reasons you pointed out).

Simply put you used the wrong model of LOA. You realized (correctly) that the model is superficial.  Rather than asking why it’s superficial (as this blog does), you threw the baby out with the bathwater. You rejected the whole concept and then shared your tragic childhood as somehow proof of Divine Intervention.  I’m sorry but your logic does not hold together.

Suffice for now to say that the LOA has nothing to do with positive thoughts. If it did we’d all be rich!  The LOA has to do with deep gut instincts. When you understand that distinction, the argument you are making against LOA will disappear in a puff of logic (* Douglas Adams reference).

I could spend pages on this topic but it’s lengthy and not really relevant to the substance of today’s article, which is about your litany of abuse and whether I can reply to you with compassion.

I will write a new article dedicated to the LOA and what philosophers call a “logical fallacy.”  Please read the next post as I will be writing it in the hope of helping you.

Thanking you again for visiting this blog.  I hope that you can accept this lengthy reply with the compassion in which it is intended.  I hope that you’ll accept me reaching out to help you.  I truly believe that if you cleared the trauma of your past you would see the world in a whole new light.  Yes there are conmen and hustlers out there, but there are also a lot of good people who work hard for charity. You are painting us all with the same brush.

Blessings

Simon

Hi Dalben

Thanks for your comments. As I indicated above I felt quite attacked and annoyed. I didn’t want to take this out on you (or anyone) so I took time out to reflect and work on myself. I did get to the bottom of it, some childhood issues about my father misjudging me. There was some old hurt sitting there and I’m grateful to you for bringing it to my attention.

With that cleared, I have some real objectivity to reply to you. I fundamentally disagree with most of your comment. More than mere difference of opinion, I think you were disingenuous, perhaps intentionally misrepresenting me.

I endeavour to reply with compassion and without rancour. The truth is I can never really know what you went through or how hard your life has been.

I can joke about sharing an address with you in Lombard Street but we had nothing in common. I can only guess what trauma you carry.

What I know for sure is that you still carry this trauma and it colors your sense of justice and how you see the world. The blatantly untrue things you say about me can only be explained (compassionately at least) with reference

to this trauma. Since you have rejected RPT as a tool, I hope you find

some other tool which is effective in clearing trauma.

Incidentally yours is not the first attack I have received (off the blog) from people with your background. I had a similar experience with an ex-junkie (not 100% sure she was ever homeless). I was confused till a psychologist friend pointed out that it’s normal for junkies/homeless people to fear and attack those associated with authority (police/lawyers) and to project this at anyone trying to help them. It’s what makes working with the homeless so hard.

Though you have been off the streets many years, you clearly carry this pattern. I’m glad I’ve seen it before so I can reply clearly. I think you are so threatened by the idea of clearing your trauma that it is easier to attack. You convinced yourself that your attack was morally right, and yet every single thing you said about me was false. I can only pray that you will find time to reflect on that because there is great learning in this for you when you are ready.

> You also mention that this blog is to flesh out new ideas and thoughts
> in one of your posts, yet the items I see throughout this blog have
> been around for a millennia … brought together in a way that really
> isn’t all that original at all

You are fundamentally misrepresenting me, to the point that you look like you are on some sort of vendetta?

There is no doubt that Reference Point Therapy is something totally new. Our most profound healing technique, the Art of Re-Conception, is completely original, I have never heard of anything vaguely like it. And yet it is also ancient. I didn’t make it up out of the blue. It draws together 10 different schools of spiritual thought and psychological research. Most obviously Tao, Tantra and Breathwork.

I could make the same point about every single technique and every page on this blog. Everything is new and everything is ancient.

I think you misunderstand the basic concept of scientific progress? Nobody re-writes the page because such a paradigm shift is inherently destabilising to society. Progress – new ideas – are built on old ideas. This is the nature of our reality. (If you are interested in philosophy of science start with reading Kuhn’s work on paradigm shifts. I also recommend any reading on the nature of “scientific method.”)

In tomorrow’s blog article (this link may not work till 30 March https://www.referencepointtherapy.com/blog/2011/03/are-gut-feelings-misleadin

g/) I address the “newness” in more detail and quote from my NLP teacher Chris Howard: “If I stand tall, it’s because I stand on the shoulders of

those that came before me.” That is the very definition of “newness” in

scientific progress.

> look back over the 60′s 70′s and early 80′s and you will see these
> same topics and messages discussed here were brought up then ) and the
> difference was in the 60′s they weren’t trying to charge you to teach
> them to you that didn’t start until mid 70′s

So tell me wise one, where’s my heavy sell been? I spend 10-20 hours a week preparing material for the blog, replying to comments, clearing the spam etc. Where’s my request for money?

I have done the exact opposite of what you suggest. Following the inspiration of TFT, I’ve been giving our material away for free. We give away our basic (Level 1) methods for free, I spent thousands of dollars producing instructional videos that I put on my website for free.

What makes your comment sillier is you aren’t even talking about my methods (which I give away) you are talking about my philosophy. As per my disclaimer my ideas and philosophy are not related to the RPT method. You know that because you read the disclaimer above. I’ve never for a second though my philosophy was worth a dime, never sold it, never will. Others publish books, I just blog.

Hope by now you understand why I feel that your terrible trauma has clouded your eyes and your judgment. You say things which could not be more untrue.

> I am sorry if this all seemed like an attack it is just reading over
> your blog for a couple of days now and everything about it reminds me
> of what I saw on the street about a hustle

Amusing. Find me the hustle.

Seriously. I mean I made a joke about joining you in the Lombard Street hustle but it was just a joke because I have never told a lie to SELL anything. Doesn’t matter that I was a lawyer and investment banker (not the most reputable professions), or a personal development teacher (just as bad to some). I never have told a lie to make a sale. Unlike your Lombard Street boys.

If this blog was dedicated to sales, hustle or making money then it’s an abject failure. I don’t make money from RPT. This blog is dedicated to sharing ideas and my own sense of fun. I’m pretty sure from talking to people that this is obvious to everyone else.

> – from how you contradict yourself (and yes I re read your blog over
> and over )

No mate you didn’t read the blog over. You read a couple of articles and chose to misquote me. If you had read it over and over you would have given examples of these apparent contradictions.

Look, I think every other reader on this blog gets this, but you need it spelled out:

1) I make no claims to be perfect. I am NOT A GURU. (find me someone else in my industry who says that?)

2) This blog is my way of formulating and exploring new ideas.

3) I’ve been blogging for 3 years, and my ideas have changed in that time.

I believe you have found the odd contradiction. So what? This doesn’t make you God and doesn’t give you the right to make the judgments you made. Yes you survived the street, it doesn’t make you wiser than every other reader here, only more cynical and jaded.

Odds on those contradictions are either a mistake I made (and I make many) or you merely misunderstood me. I’m also learning and growing at a rapid rate so frankly I might say something next week inconsistent with last week.

Shoot me for learning and evolving!

> to how you first call those that talk to their guides requiring “help”

then
> backing up and saying she misunderstood when a woman talks about a
> very real fear that she might be going crazy because she does talk to
> her guides .. you back peddled so fast it makes my head spin ..

Seriously? You didn’t even understand her question. You are so eager and desperate to attack me you read neither her question nor my reply. You are right about your head spin at least.

That reader confused my comment about one modality (TH) with a comment about all spirituality. I take the blame for this confusion. You’re darned right I backpedalled – I can’t have a blatant misunderstanding like that on my consciousness.

If you had room in your heart for more compassion and less cynicism of the streets, you would understand this. Instead you took an example of compassion and turned it into some sort of argument against me. Totally bizarre.

This is what happens when people bury their trauma under the veneer of a “functioning adult life.” The trauma doesn’t go away, it’s like a poison that infests your judgment of reality. (By definition you will disagree with me, so I say this only to help other readers who must be enjoying the

tête-à-tête.)

> to me you are nothing more than a conman of the EST variety

Really? Who am I conning? What am I selling? No one has to read this blog.

There’s no product pitch. I’m just sharing ideas which are new for ME (even if you’ve read them all before). It’s a free world, if people don’t like my ideas they won’t return. We get a several thousand unique visits a week so somebody’s reading it and I’m sure they aren’t being conned.

I also have nothing against EST. What’s your trauma there? I did Landmark (I believe that’s what EST became) and I really believe that it helped saved

my life (long story for another day).

My only objection to Landmark is the constant sell – like all of the basic course they tell you why you have to do their advanced course. It’s irritating. That’s why I do the exact opposite. For instance in my Level 1 course I spend no more that 5 minutes at the end talking about Level 2.

Same on this blog – there’s no expectation for people to pay, no linking their enlightenement to the courses they pay for.

I never did EST but assuming Landmark is similar you cannot claim they are conmen. You obviously have no idea about the good work they do. And whilst I know their marketing is controversial, there is no connection between me and EST/Landmark in that regard.

This is another good example of how you are so quick to project your hurt and attack that you have lost all sight of reality.

> and a dangerous one at that because you attack those who view things
> differently to you yet claim to be open.

I think you are traumatized and misguided, but I am not attacking you. (You might feel attacked, but that is not my intention nor how the average reader

would interpret this reply.) No one else in the history of my 2 blogs has

attacked me as much as you, and yet I waited to find balance and compassion before replying.

> You claim to have been a lawyer yet can’t catch your own contradictions.

LOL… You have a high opinion of lawyers!

The thing about lawyers is that we are very good at looking at a single document in front of us and finding the contradictions.

This blog represents 3 years of changing and evoling thought. I would be more worried if there were no contradictions after 3 years. It would mean I was stuck in the past.

Also, in trying to appeal to and address both the left and right, I will use different language at differnet times and it might sometimes like a contradiction till you dig deeper. Example: I am a spiritual atheist. I believe in god (but not the religious god). These look like a contradiction,

but not to anyone who knows the Tao. So I suggest your contradictions you

discovered are either proof that my ideas are evolving as I learn and grow, or you didn’t dig deep enough yet.

> Sorry you just come off like Jimmy who sold “Rolexes” down on Lumbard
> street, or Eddie who was just outside the Blue Note at second and
> south or myself when I ran my shell game just outside of Market Street
> live

years ago.

Sorry that you are projecting your old stuff at me again. The thing about Jimmy and Eddie was that they were just trying to make a buck in order to survive. You can forgive them for what they did for money. Like you, they lied and stole from people to survive. I have compassion for that.

I come from the other side of the tracks. I do not make money from RPT, having donated it to charity several years ago. You claim to have read my blog but you didn’t even bother with the About page or you’d know that. Sad really.

You make comparisons and judgments that are so far from the truth it is depressing. I can only hope you get something out of this. Spend at least 1 minute thinking about how badly you have misjudged me. Not for my sake (I’m am not important in your life), but for the sake of your family, colleagues and the hundreds of others you must be doing this to on a daily basis.

<strong>Divine Intervention and Law of Attraction</strong>

Your judgments aside, there was a philosophical point I believe you were trying to make.

> Now as I said I was trying to kill myself subconsciously I know that
> now so according to LOA I shouldn’t have gotten off the street all
> those negative vibrations, and it wasn’t until I was off the street
> that I had finally dealt with those feelings. …
> I should be dead, I am not . LOA doesn’t explain it not in the least

I am glad you made it! But to suggest that you are somehow the exception to LOA or the proof that it doesn’t work is merely a lack of understanding

about LOA.

I don’t know if you are much of a reader? Perhaps you’ve heard of Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion? You may not agree with his conclusion but it’s a brilliant work of philosophy (I shall be blogging about it shortly).

Dawkins makes an excellent point very relevant to you – you should read the chapter. It’s called “Argument From Personal Incredulity.” Basically he observes that Christians say “I can’t believe that something as amazing as [the human eye] could have evolved without God. Therefore God exists.” In other words people make spiritual beliefs from their own ignorance and

misunderstanding.

In philosophical terms you have committed a “logical fallacy” (read http://www.theskepticsguide.org/resources/logicalfallacies.aspx). It goes like this: ” I cannot explain or understand this, therefore it cannot be

true.” What you are saying is the same thing “I cannot believe that I

survived the streets based on my Law of Attraction since I wanted to die.

Therefore Divine Intervention exists.”

I think simply put your definition of LOA is wrong. The wrong definition obviously does not apply to your life, therefore you rejected the whole concept. Then you share that story as somehow proof of Divine Intervention?

(I’m assuming the last bit as it wasn’t actually clear that you argued this and I might be reading too much into your post.)

My “proof” that you misunderstand LOA is this:

> … just like it doesn’t explain the countless members of MLMs like
> Amway who are living in squalor with their “Positive thought”
> brainwashing technique (I have a few former friends who are part of
> that with all the “inspirational messages” posted on their walls truly
> believing they are happy while their wife left them and their children
> are being taken away .. )

That’s got nothing to do with LOA. I agree with your judgment of MLMs and also the superficial nature of affirmations and certain personal development techniques.

LOA is different. It works, but it is notoriously hard to control. If it was as simple as sitting there thinking “Abundance, abundance, abundance”

we’d all be rich! Clearly that’s not LOA, that’s just crap that sold the movie “The Secret.”

After learning the triune brain model I realized that the simples way to explain how LOA works is to refer to the gut survival instincts. It has nothing and I repeat NOTHING to do with our head.

This is also the reason why most personal development workshops have no long term benefit. I speak as a graduate of many personal development techniques.

Your sorry story of homelessness is not proof against LOA. Totally the opposite, it’s proof that LOA does work but on a deep level. You created that experience. The fact that you survived on the streets where others failed was because your survival instinct was stronger. The fact that you attracted to your table someone who could get you off the streets was because this survival instinct was ultimately stronger than the will to die.

To put that in more RPT language, the will to die was in the head, and maybe the heart, but your body mind / gut / R-complex wanted to survive.

When it comes to the LOA functioning, it is only the body mind (associated with the part of the brain called the

R-complex) that matters. As you indicated, no amount of positive thought can help.

Referring again to Dawkins’ argument, you are suggesting that because you cannot conceive why you didn’t die when you wanted to, the LOA does not work. You are falling for the Creationist Delusion of developing your own spirituality from personal incredulity.

I could spent pages developing this philosophical and intellectual rigour with you, but it would not be original. I really recommend Dawkins’ book, at least that one chapter. It will probably change your life.

In conclusion, and back to the topic of this article; I can only say to you what I said to that wonderful reader Kim above, there is nothing in your wonderful story which proves (or disproves) divine intervention. There’s no reason why the “Almighty One” would reach down and save you from all the homeless people in the world. Only you could create, or rather ATTRACT that.

Thanking you again for visiting this blog. I find myself fundamentally disagreeing with you, more so than any other reader in the history of my 2 blogs. For that I honor and thank you. You certainly gave me food for thought.

I hope that you can accept this lengthy reply with the compassion in which it is intended. I don’t believe you will agree or believe a word I say, but I sincerely hope that in time you will reflect on whether you might, even just a little bit, be carrying that old trauma with you and blocking your perceptions of people who actually might just be able to help you.

Both today’s and tomorrow’s blog articles are dedicated to you.

Blessings

Simon

OK Over to you dear readers

We have no way of knowing whether Mr Dalben will even read this (he has not replied to my previous requests for more information).   Hopefully his friend that referred him to the blog will tell him of this letter.

I didn’t spend a day writing this for Dalben himself (as he is very unlikely to “get it”). I wrote this for you, dear reader.  I felt that the distinctions I made here were important. Frankly, I wanted to be heard!

I really value your feedback. Any feedback, though here are some thoughts on my mind:

  • do think I’m occasionally abusive to people who disagree? have you noticed this on the blog?
  • was I fair in my reply to Dalben or too blunt? Or too nice?
  • Is there any hope that Dalben, or people like him, will get my reply, no matter how calm or compassion I write it?
  • What more can I do not only to help people like him but to prevent the kind of misunderstandings that lead to his original letter?

A thought that’s on my mind is that Dalben represents my core “market segment,” i.e. people carrying terrible trauma that they have been unable to clear. RPT was developed for people like him.  So there’s really not much point in my blogging work if I’m antagonizing the very people that I’m best able to help.

Anyway, I’ve spoken enough for today. I’d love to hear other people’s views, that’s if anyone made it this far through the article!

Blessings

Simon

March 31, 2011 in Thoughts For the Day
Tagged , , , , , , , ,

33 Responses

  1. el Abogado del Diablo

    Simon, you want my opinion?

    Firstly, and not importantly, Dalben is a high-functioning individual with a personality disorder. This is not uncommon among people who have experienced childhood trauma.

    But I’m more worried about you! You spent How many hours writing this? You dwelled on it for how many days? For a nobody who writes nonsense? Why?

    You said you worked on the father issues it brought up, great. But what about the issues that required you to spend days justifying yourself? Did you look at those? Despite your glowing praise for Tim Ferriss (benefits of pissing people off), you continue to tip toe and dance around your readers. Boring. I want to see you with all guns blazing. That will be much more fun.

    And to answer your question, no I don’t think you ever do abuse your readers, but sometimes you Should. Like this guy. Look; you could have saved 24 hours of your life by by deleting his comment from the blog and sending him an email saying “you are a tosser. don’t come back here.” Job done.

    A d D

    Dmitry Yeschenko Reply:

    Good answer. It’s really difficult for me to add something more to it.

    Simon, I don’t think that you can help to people like Dalben with any words like this. For them it really waste of your time. The only stuff could possibly help them – it’s applying tech like RPT. But not the words on blog.

    The best thing you can do is simply delete or ignore such comments. You don’t need to be “correct” with people who abuse and blame you. It’s normal if you have your own position on such a question. The ones who want to excange ideas here and to find something new for themselves will never write like this.

    “Never discuss with such persons. You couldnt’ help them in such a way, but you really could loose your real auditorium bored by this stuff.” – I’ve got this rule from one quite expencive course on blogging and while using it during last year I’ve saved a lots of my energy and time. I found it really useful rule.

    “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you”.

    Simon Rose Reply:

    I understand what you are saying.

    The hard part for me, and I think everyone who is drawn to healing work, is that there are no “dogs” and “pigs.”

    Everyone who comes to me is holy in their own special way.

    I would never turn Dalben away if he asked for help. Everyone is deserving.

    The trick is to channel your time towards those willing to receive and not to those who would just waste your time. That’s an artform, not one I’ve mastered.

    That said I was pretty clear that the day I spent writing this was for ALL the readers on my blog, not for Dalben who will probably never come back to read it.

    Blessings my friend, I appreciate your wisdom.

    Simon

    Dmitry Yeschenko Reply:

    You are fully right. there are no “animals” between those who ask you for healing. The same as between those who simply communicate here.

    The separation question is “what do they want?” They search for results for themselves or they find a way to drain your energy and attention for free? It’s normal to see vampire when you look at vampire. And if person needs some help he comes to you not in “vampire” role, but as one who ready for help. As for me it’s really easy to differentiate. Just look at the role of your opponent.

    Simon Rose Reply:

    Abogado del Diablo,

    Estoy de acuerdo con lo que dijo.

    A mi me gusta mucha tu seudónimo, muy inteligente y divertido. ¿Crees que alguien más lo va a entender? Es nuestro secreto. :-)

    Es curioso que Rebeca dijo (por abajo) que yo soy siempre un abogado. Mire usted, EL ABOGADO!

    Gracias por su sabiduría, mi amigo.

    Simon

  2. I have lots of thoughts here. None necessarily related :-) Here they are in no particular order.

    1) It’s always interesting when we, as healers, come across REALLY seriously traumatised people. Definitely shakes-up our personal beliefs / feelings around and tests our techniques / modalities. A couple of years ago I was asked to do a reading by a woman whose life story was so horrific I was actually almost too shaken to know where to begin. I still think about her sometimes. No matter what form these people use (abusing us or leeching onto us), they are reaching out to us in their own way. Maybe they take away just one single thing from what we offer them in return, which might be 100000% powerful for them. ?!?!
    2) Simon, you attract (create?) drama. When I hit your 3rd-to-last paragraph to Dalben it was time for an out-loud chuckle :-) And you’re such a lawyer at heart, with all your long itemised annotated point-by-point semantics breakdowns (I have such a big grin while typing this). x
    3) I agree with your point that much of the content analysed here isn’t really for Dalben. It’s raising important stuff for everyone else… i.e. ME… who was just heavily criticised myself two days ago by a ‘client’ and am still reeling. Two of your points in this article REALLY helped me: “The more trauma someone has been through, the more obvious the block to their perception” and “I believe you attack anyone who might pull you out of the trauma you are so attached to”.
    4) I think your response is adequately compassionate, but also, ditto what el Abogado del Diablo said. :-)

    Simon Rose Reply:

    hi Bec, really glad you shared that (point 3) because when I read Dmitry’s post, I had decided to just delete this page and call it a wasted day. (Well not really wasted, good learnings).

    Yes I’ll always be a lawyer, well it was 10 years of my life (uni+work) it doesn’t just disappear!

    About creating drama, I’m so much better these days. Life’s pretty calm! :-) A stable relationship makes all the difference really.

    Always great having your wise presence on this blog.

    Simon

  3. One of the stickiest things to clear can be our story. It doesn’t matter how painful that story is – all that matters is that it’s ours. It becomes such an important part of our identity that we hang on sometimes for grim death. It justifies our words and actions. It lets us know our apparent place in the scheme of things.

    We all have our stories that inform our thoughts, words, deeds and world-view and, of course, they are pure ego. They’re all about trying to be safe. That doesn’t mean they actually keep us safe, far from it. More often than not they at least limit us and often damage us.

    I feel that Dalben is speaking from his story. A huge part is inevitably the abandonment. How could it be otherwise? Another part, the part that says he should be dead, seems to confer a feeling of having a special and unique perspective, one that, coupled with the pain he has suffered, gives him license to say whatever he likes regardless of the impact because no-one else will ever feel as bad as he does. That feels as though it rests on an association between survival and having to feel removed from everyone else.
    I hope this does not seem impertinent or invasive. I’m just trying to understand.

    I’d like to offer Dalben a complimentary RPT healing session via skype so he can experience RPT. Experiencing something is a better measure than reading about it. I know the subject was God rather than RPT itself but the technique did come up in the debate.

    Great topic.

    Sue x

    Simon Rose Reply:

    thanks Sue. Anyone wanting to book a session with you can do so via your website, http://www.suehealy.com/. (I linked your name in the comment to the website too).

    Don’t hold your breath on hearing from our friend. The thing with trauma is that it becomes part of the victim’s identity. I’ve heard some interesting psychotherapists speak of this as “woundology.” The victim will fight away anyone who can really help them because they need to defend their wound.

    There is no easy solution to this. Primarily you need to work on secondary gain – what is the benefit of the victim identity? (attention, diminished responsibility, etc). You can clear it but the person needs to really want the change.

    I had one unsuccessful healing recently (always annoying when your annual success rate drops below 100%). It was because of this issue. The abuse was part of her identity. When we addressed it it became really frightening and more or less took over her life. Instead of taking responsibility, she and her family chose to blame me for “re-traumatizing her”! Quite astounding how that secondary gain of diminished responsibility can play out. She is now too afraid to finish the healing process. There’s nothing I can see to do for her but wait till she’s ready.

    Oh the joys of being a trauma therapist…

    blessings
    Simon

  4. It’s funny how Dalben said he was sorry if it seemed like he was attacking you but then went on to call you nothing more than a conman! You’ll be able to judge the intent of a post from the tone and points made and respond accordingly. His post was basically “I’m wise. Just look at my life experience and you’ll be able to see how wise I am. Now that you know how wise I am I just thought I’d let you know that you suck. Bye.” I don’t think Dalben was looking for a discussion but was just interested in making a statement so I wouldn’t waste your time going all out to defend yourself in a situation like that.

    Whist his post was mildly abusive, it was tame compared to some posts you see on the net so I don’t think it warrants deleting. However, it doesn’t warrant a detailed response either. Just something simple along the lines of your original reply to him.

    I don’t agree with some of the replies here that suggest fighting fire with fire. Whilst I read a lot of forums and blogs, I don’t actively participate in too many because I’m busy but also because it annoys me how people are willing to say things and are such heroes when they’re hiding behind the anonymity of their computer. Some people view flame wars as a sport so don’t give those types any energy – they feed off being counter-attacked and quickly lose interest if you don’t respond in the way they’re expecting. Attacking also generates a desire to defend so it doesn’t take too long for the dialogue to degenerate into an all out flame war. The signal to noise ratio on this blog is excellent and you don’t want it to degenerate to the point where you repel readers looking for thoughtful discussions and begin attracting readers who like controversy and flame wars. The abusive flame war-loving types would currently find your blog boring and I think that’s a good thing.

    > do think I’m occasionally abusive to people who disagree? have you noticed this on the blog?

    99.9% of your replies are very measured, constructive and serve to diffuse any heat. However on 0.1% of occasions I’ve noticed a bit of a “f— you” attitude eg. “Tell me wise one…” and calling him “mate”. You probably have to be an Aussie to get the subtlety of the word “mate” but it’s a word that has duel meanings. It’s usually a term of endearment but, in this context it’s a fighting word and comes across as defensive. You used the word “mate” in one of your replies to me and I immediately knew you were pissed off. Oops :)

    I’m not into flame wars though and I ever got into one I’d be out of here as I don’t want to waste my energy and have my vibration to go south. I think the reason some people like flame wars is because their vibration is so slow that the flame war actually increases their vibration compared to where they’re at. It’s not that it makes them feel “good” it just makes them feel better than where they’re at. It’s the same reason some people like getting into physical fights – they love the adrenalin rush.

    I’m being deliberately picky only because you asked the question. As I said, 99.9% of your replies are very measured and constructive I like it when you use humour in your replies. It depends where you want to go. If you don’t mind fighting back occasionally then go for it. You don’t have to become sickeningly PC or nice. Just be careful of starting flame wars though.

    > was I fair in my reply to Dalben or too blunt? Or too nice?

    see above

    > Is there any hope that Dalben, or people like him, will get my reply, no matter how calm or compassion I write it?

    Probably not. As I said, I think he was making a statement, not looking for a discussion.

    > What more can I do not only to help people like him but to prevent the kind of misunderstandings that lead to his original letter?

    I don’t think you’re the one to help him and I don’t think he’ll be the last person to misunderstand you. You can’t be all things to all people and you can’t force people to be helped so worry about it. Someone else will come along that he can relate to better. In the meantime just keep doing what you’re doing and only be concerned about those who are open to what you have to say.

    Shane Marsh Reply:

    Should be “so don’t worry about it”

  5. Hehehe…
    Very timely. I wrote an article the other day “How healing / personal development / therapy became super-fast & easy!”
    I presented RPT as a fast, easy, fun way to let go of blockages, and boy did I get some serious flak for it!
    I was called (amongst other things):
    “A giant douche (actually still don’t know what that is, but it sounds BAD); a dangerous, delusional megalomaniac; a bullshitter; an ignoramus; a charlatan”…
    It was only a handful of people being critical – the response to the article was mostly very positive. But I saw (again!) that when you challenge people’s beliefs it gets them very hot and bothered.
    If you want to have a read (and a laugh) it’s here: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/03/how-healing–personal-development–therapy-became-super-fast-and-easy/

    Ben Ralston Reply:

    I meant to say: I also responded to each individual criticism… and I haven’t yet figured out why. Is it because the drama is kind of fun?! Or is it because I genuinely (compassionately) wanted to communicate my truth to those people? Because one thing’s for sure – it’s very, very difficult (almost impossible) to communicate with them (people like Dalben) and therefore pretty much a waste of time (as some commenters said above).
    But again, having said that… the replies are just as much for other readers.

  6. Hi Simon,

    This has to be the longest blog I ever saw coming from you! It’s a new record! (I can’t help noticing it!) ;-)

    Anyway, my feelings regarding the conversation on both sides of the equation, I would say that it is good for yourself that you had the chance to relay your thoughts and feelings regarding the “healing principles in action” at the expense of time in articulating how to say it. Sometimes it is hard to someone to hear someone else say that these ideas are apples not oranges…

    Whereas other reader(s) suggesting out just deleting the blog and washing the “damage control” off your duck back. I guess that comes down the character of the individual how to resolve the matter.

    That’s all I came think about of this, keep up with the good work.

    Cheers,
    Peter.

  7. Hi Simon

    What if the truth is we don’t need to change anything to heal?

    What if we could heal without needing to complete three levels of some whiz bang course?

    What if we could be happy to pay our taxes and make sure they were spent as we wished?

    What if we could be live any where and have experienced trauma and still be at peace?

    Surely it’s how you choose to respond to your trauma and your circumstances that will give you true freedom.

    What if you can’t really change anything that has happened after the fact?

    What if that didn’t matter for you to heal afterall?

    Much Love

    Mark

    Simon Rose Reply:

    What if the sky were blue?

    What if the earth were flat?

    What if we were all sitting on a great lump of wet rock as it hurtles through space around a burning ball of gas?

    Hang on..

    What if there weren’t so many rhetorical questions?

    Much love

    Simon

    Mark Sawyer Reply:

    LOL
    There’s the Lawyer again. Look at the teddy bear! Look at the teddy bear! Acquit…

    Seriously though, why have you based RPT exactly off Vianna’s business model?

    It’s great that you donated RPT to charity, but I do find it hard to believe you receive no income from it whatsoever. Please correct me if I am wrong. But why are you living in a tax haven?

    Much Love
    Mark

    Simon Rose Reply:

    hi Mark! Always fun having your input though I’m not sure that this is the forum for these questions. Still, since I would hate you to think I was avoiding your questions I’ll have a quick crack at it.

    > Seriously though, why have you based RPT exactly off Vianna’s business model?

    Given the same industry there’s going to be an overlap at least to the outside observer. From the inside it’s totally different.

    Just one example: VS’s business model is to earn income from running teacher certification courses. Hence the incentive is to quantity over quality. Churn out teachers (thousands per year).

    Our business model is a royalty structure. We do not charge for teacher training or certification. This was deliberate to avoid the mistake of going for quantity over quality.

    I wont dwell on the TH distinction just to say there’s some overlap that applies to the entire industry, but the specifics are different.

    > but I do find it hard to believe you receive no income from it whatsoever.

    You are right. I am entitled to charge for my time. For instance if I see a client in my personal time I am entitled to earn income from this.

    > But why are you living in a tax haven?

    I have a “private life” boundary and so this answer has to be short: I have a real life and a “day job” outside RPT. Look I couldn’t donate RPT unless I could afford to because of other investments. I am not the penniless spiritual teacher archetype (I am neither of those things).

    have a great day
    Simon

  8. Hi Simon

    Where is the forum for these questions? Why is my input fun? These are serious questions I’m asking.

    Apparently you do charge for teacher training ($2400). Is this separate from RPT? Where does this money go?

    Also, are you paid anything at all as creative director of RPT?

    Please elaborate on your royalty structure, I dont know what this means.

    Have a great day too!

    Mark

    Simon Rose Reply:

    hi Mark

    > Where is the forum for these questions?

    I can’t really think of one! For RPT practitioners the forum would be http://www.RPTforum.com. For the concerned public such as yourself I guess this is as good a forum as any.

    There is a boundary though when the discussion should be moved to a private email exchange.

    My concern is what’s called “signal to noise ratio.” I really try to keep comments relevant to the subject of the post. This keeps it interesting to other readers.

    This discussion is important to you (and me). My gut feeling is that 95% of readers will think “what are Simon and Mark going on about, we don’t care whether it’s a business or charity, shut up and write some interesting articles.”

    I am not claiming any special prestige for RPT being a charity. I mentioned it to Dalben as a very specific rebuttal, not to gain credibility. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with making money from healing work (within certain boundaries which I have written about).

    > Why is my input fun? These are serious questions I’m asking.

    I have known you about 4-5 years and I’ve found interactions with you to be fun. You are challenging in a way that is respectful and thoughtful, never invasive. I like that.

    > Apparently you do charge for teacher training ($2400). Is this separate from RPT?

    We do not have a teacher training course at this time. [Note this paragraph has been edited since first posting as I worked out what course Mark was referring to.]

    Thanks to your help I have just become aware that there is still a teacher training page on the website. I hadn’t looked at it for a year. We decided not to run this course at this time, but may do so in the future. I think the key words were “This course is NOT a teacher certification course.”

    I believe I’m a great teacher/communicator of ideas and I have developed some new communication tools based on the triune brain. When I taught these on the Level 3 course some people felt it was the highlight of the course and worthy of a separate course on teaching and communication.

    I really want to do this, time permitting. But I have many projects including a real job to do!

    Meanwhile my point remains the same – we do not charge for teacher certification.

    If anyone else sees some strange / misleading info on the old website please don’t hesitate to contact us. For the most part every page on the new website is being rewritten so there shouldn’t be any peccadilloes when we transition over.

    > Where does this money go?

    You seem to think we’re awash with cash? :-)

    I only teach 2-3 courses a year. Most of that money probably goes to travel expenses and venue costs. Profit goes into the RPT fund along with royalties from other teachers courses.

    Expenses: We have a full time employee (Val Moore) who manages the business side, teaching side and IT side. That is our main “overhead” expense following by marketing, programming, web dev. We also sponsor people for courses and subsidize courses in countries that couldn’t afford USD/AUD prices.

    One of my future goals is for profits (when they are worth writing about) to be spent on running healing clinics in Vanuatu and elsewhere. At the moment I’m putting my own cash into this, which is fine, but it would be nice to have the healing side be self-sufficient. That’s what’s meant by the charitable nature of it.

    > Also, are you paid anything at all as creative director of RPT?

    No. My net cashflow is INTO RPT not OUT of RPT. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with earning a royalty for my creative work. But at the moment I am investing in the work, not the other way around.

    > Please elaborate on your royalty structure, I don’t know what this means.

    It means that the teachers pay a % of their course revenues to a fund managed by Val Moore. This covers their use of the RPT brand, the manuals and materials, marketing support, all Val’s time and efforts etc. I guess it’s a little bit like a franchise but with no exclusive territory. We offer a product and a brand name and procedure manuals etc. There’s a fair exchange that takes place for that.

    Further information on this is available to anyone interested in becoming an RPT teacher. Obviously you need to be an RPT practitioner first.

    Mark, please email me if there’s anything else on your mind.

    best wishes
    Simon

    Mark Sawyer Reply:

    Hi Simon

    Alls good mate! It’s probably taken me the best part of 2 years to build up
    the nerve to get that all off my chest! Seriously!

    I have the utmost respect for you as a guide my friend. But obviously I am
    still healing from our Theta experience.

    I’m probably not on my own as far as past students who view your blog go.

    Great to hear you are scrapping the transitional website, enough said!

    Thanks for taking the time. I will be touch soon to take your RPT work
    apart! he he : )

    Unfortunately it’s not a finished product yet!

    Much Love

    Mark

  9. Hi Simon,
    I believe that your Being works in the Miraculous but your personality/mind (whatever the right term in rpt is now) still has its feet in a healing paradigm which causes necessary contradictions as you try to figure out what it is that you are actually doing, how is this all developing, unfolding and becoming etc. You seem to be constantly playing ‘catch up’, trying to articulate that which has unfolded and then…it morphes into its next becoming. I believe it would be much easier for you if you used a different vocabulary and did a different dance with this entirely, but hey, this is what you have chosen and it allows you to reach a wide audience so…great! Are you making valid points re Dalben? Sure. Is he? Sure. I believe that he is picking up on an energetic thing (what i just mentioned above) and is not conscious enough to get that fully. Is it ok to contradict oneself? Sure. We are all learning as we go along.
    Sincerely, Tanya

  10. First of all, I just want to comment on the 1st few replies to this blog. Putting another human being in a box (by diagnosing them with a personality disorder) and referring to them as a tosser (or implying their a pig?) is hurtful, judgmental and not very compassionate.

    Secondly, I think that Simon’s reply is harsh. I can understand the instinct to defend your integrity and work, but there are unnecessary attacks present, eg:

    “You are so eager and desperate to attack me you read neither her question nor my reply. You are right about your head spinning at least.”

    It’s funny, I don’t think there’s anything wrong, or even immoral about getting your claws out in defense to an attack, (especially when Dalben did such a good job of insulting Simon, which I must admit I find slightly amusing) but I think it’s good to be aware of how sharp your claws are and use them wisely. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a drama queen either (also amusing :)

    I’m not a point by point type, and I don’t feel the need to justify my opinion or prove myself right in any way. This is just one observation.

    I read an RPT post some time ago, which looked at the reasons why people might not be contributing to the RPT blog. Having now read the above posts, I think fear of being rejected, attacked and dismissed might be some of the reasons why.

    To finish I just want to say thanks for the RPT blog. I have found some really valuable information here, presented in a really transparent, no bullshit way, which I like. Keep up the good work.

    Ps I find the idea of profiteering from RPT hilarious!

    Much love with a bit of tough love,

    Rose.

    Simon Rose Reply:

    hi Rose, long-time-no-hear!

    thanks for the feedback. I do appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts, most of which I agree with.

    I took a day to reflect on your comments before replying. Firstly I agree with your comment that sending insults is unecessary and lacking compassion. Sadly internet forums tend to quickly become venues for anonymous attack. Luckily this blog has always had a very high standard of conduct. I midly disagree about the comment about diagnosis. There are people commenting on this blog with both the psychological training and the intuitive training to make that diagnosis pretty quickly. It’s not a diagnosis that would hold up in court, but in my experience it’s at least 95% accurate. Where the trauma is so palpable and raw, a diagnosis of personality disorder is easy.

    Yes I was a bit harsh at a few points. At the start of the reply I was a bit hurt and disappointed. By the end of the reply I’d cleared that but I was just annoyed he’d wasted so much of my time. I acknowledge that this comes through as sarcasm or lack of compassion sometimes, though I did my best.

    > … which looked at the reasons why people might not be contributing to the RPT blog.
    > Having now read the above posts, I think fear of being rejected, attacked and
    > dismissed might be some of the reasons why.

    Two comments on this:

    1) cart before the horse, this is the first time in the history of the blog that I’ve cared enough to take issue. So fortunately there’s no reason why readers (especially prior to this) would fear being dismissed or attacked. I sincerely hope that it doesn’t discourage GENUINE comments in the future.

    2) This is hard to put into words but the gist of it is “What would you have me do?” I could (as some suggested) have just hit “delete.” But I have never censored this blog and I really don’t want to start. I could have ignored it, but such malicious bullshit needed a reply, else it would have mislead others. I reflected on it for a while and the only option I could see was to pull it apart point by point (and yes I AM a lawyer still!). Sure, if I’d waited a week I might have worded a few phrases differently but I’d already wasted enough time on him, I needed to reply and get on with helping and replying to the honest and genuine people on this blog.

    I really don’t want to do anything to discourage people from commenting but I also have to say: this is a forum I have created to educate, inform, learn, share and enjoy. I rely on comments from people like you Rose, to help me see my own blind spots. I rely on people introducing me to new ideas. But quite frankly there is no space on this blog for people like Dalben who are so hurt and angry that they attack everyone who could possibly help them.

    I hope – and I believe – that my conduct on this blog and on this page in particular encourages comments like yours, and if it scares anyone away, it’s the people like Dalben who realize there’s just no place for that behavior here. So hopefully it’s all for the best!

    blessings
    Simon

    (at a “cost” of up to 20 hours per week of a very busy man’s time). That means

  11. Hi Simon

    Dalben is just speaking his truth, you can’t contol everyone, surely there is space for Dalben here, chillax!! Do you really want to scare people away??

    Simon, your enthusiasm and drive is your greatest asset, but it is also your greatest downfall.

    On your website you claim RPT is “their finished product, Reference Point Therapy: Healing That Works!” Even though it is still evolving and changing on the fly, Dalben has a point about how you come across. Dont ignore Dalben or you will ultimately lose your audience. And if you aren’t making any profit from it, stop selling something that is still incomplete!

    Much Love

    Mark

    Simon Rose Reply:

    hi Mark
    I understand and acknowledge your point about my passion have a flip side. It’s something I’m embarrassed about sometimes too – thinking of things I said years back in my passion for TH! (cringe)

    But I am older and wise for it, and whilst I’m passionate about RPT, I do not proselytize as I did before.

    > you claim RPT is “their finished product, Reference Point Therapy

    Mark you are about to call me a bloody lawyer (with good reason), BUT:
    Context is king. You need to quote the full paragraph about all the years of research we did. The finished product of that work RPT.

    That statement is true. The statement doesn’t mean that RPT is finished in the sense that it is fixed in time.

    RPT will never ever be finished because we’ll never stop looking for faster, gentler easier ways to clear trauma.

    I still have issues to clear, I am learning through this blog and through teaching. Luckily I’m a quick learner and I share what I learn here.

    > And if you aren’t making any profit from it, stop selling something that is still incomplete!

    In a perfect world I would lock myself away in a room for a few years and master this work before teaching it.

    The problem is that I don’t learn all that much by thinking or even by seeing clients. I learn by teaching. (there’s some old saying about if you want to master something, teach it).

    What I do about this conflict is provide free updates to students. Last year we scrapped the Level 1 method from 2009 (the ancestral healing) and changed the Level 1 course totally to the triune brain method. Since I scrapped what we taught in class, I had a responsibility to everyone who had paid to learn that technique. So I hired a video team (Master Conrad) and we recorded me teaching a new course and doing demos and I posted this online for all my past students as a free upgrade. These are still online in the graduate section of http://www.RPTforum.

    The next time the work evolves, I will give another round of free updates.

    Before you ask the obvious question “if it’s not for profit why not give it all away free?” let me add a distinction: I don’t make money from RPT, but we have 25 teachers covering 5 continents who DO make their living from teaching RPT. That’s why I can’t just give it all away.

    Blessings
    Simon

  12. Simon,
    Well on that theory you should give away RPT to all your past students(pre RPT). If you don’t think you learnt anything from your TH experience, you are fooling yourself! You are exactly where you are now because of TH, acknowledge that, even if you believe your teacher is a fraud!

    Blessings
    Mark

  13. Mark

    Yep I totally agree about that initial responsibility to my past TH students.

    As you may recall I did give the old RPT (the ancestral method) away for free! Initially on my blog in 2009 with free step-by-step instructions and videos.

    Then in 2010 with the triune course I offered a one day workshop (granted in Melbourne not other cities) to all my past TH students and charged a whopping $20 which barely covered room rental and printing of the manual (so it still counts as “free” to me!). All those TH students got $500 value for $20 and were pretty happy with it. I feel very complete with my obligation to past students.

    I no longer teach in Australia but any of my past students are welcome to learn with our great Aussie teachers, Lian and Cornelius (Melbourne based), Wojt (NSW) and Conrad (global man about town, Melb, WA, Byron, etc).

    > If you don’t think you learned anything from your TH experience, you are fooling yourself! You are exactly where you are now because of TH, acknowledge that,

    Again, I couldn’t agree with you more. I have never ever suggested that I didn’t learn from TH. As you say, I could never do what I do now without having had that experience and then disagreed with it.

    > even if you believe your teacher is a fraud!

    I learned an incredible amount from Vianna. She changed my life and in many ways saved it, getting me out of law for instance. For that reason I have tried to treat her with respect and compassion, even whilst fundamentally disagreeing with her work (“attack bad ideas, never the person behind them” is a good academic motto).

    None of this new Mark, everything in this comment I’ve written before. However I acknowledge you may have taken a break from reading my blog (etc) for a few years. Good to have you back.

    Simon

  14. Mark – I’ve seen and heard Simon acknowledge what he learnt from TH. I think he’s mature enough to realize that he got something from it!
    You seem to *want* to find fault…
    Ben

    Mark Sawyer Reply:

    Hi Ben

    On his website he gives no acknowledgement to TH, he says RPT is formed totally from 4 or so other modalities. Yes or no? This is untrue and is exactly why Dalben thinks/feels he is a fraud too. I wouldnt expect you not to support Simon being one his 25 dependants.

    Even though it might not seem it, I am trying to be constructive here. Just cause I dont blindly follow and accept Simons word doesn’t me he isn’t my greatest teacher in my life, b/c he is! I just dont think the work is done yet. If you cant heal trauma in your own lifetime how can you heal it on your DNA or from past lifetimes??

    Peace

    Mark

    Simon Rose Reply:

    Mark

    What I think Ben is getting at is that in order to keep a high signal-to-noise ratio, we want discussions here to be relevant. Even though I know where you are coming from, most readers will assume you are just making stuff up to have a go at me. (I say “making up” because it’s often incorrect and always demands a lengthy clarification.)

    Case in point: I have written many words in acknowledgment of my former teachers. Anyone who did RPT in it’s first year will say that I spent an hour in class on this issue and the acknowledgment is printed in the manual. However from about mid 2010 onwards I cleared what I needed to and there has been no more comment (positive or negative) about TH in class or in the manuals, and I keep comments on this blog to a minimum. I use the initials TH so that my blog doesn’t come up in Google searches about their work. I am staying off radar.

    You seem to be suggesting that I owe some sort of lifetime debt to past TH teachers and students. I disagree – I owed a certain debt and I repaid it a hundred times over with free upgrades (to students) and acknowledgments and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of business (to my past teacher). Case closed.

    Please Mark, I have closed that chapter of my life, allow me to move on already!

    > If you cant heal trauma in your own lifetime how can you heal it on your DNA or from past lifetimes??

    As I have said in every reply to you, I regard myself as a work in progress. I can’t believe how much I have cleared, I have never claimed perfection. I don’t believe in past lifetimes BTW but that’s taking your comment too literally.

    Mark, feel free to email me with any questions. I wish to close this public dialogue to protect our signal to noise ratio.

    Simon

    Simon Rose Reply:

    PS I had meant to comment:

    > I wouldnt expect you not to support Simon being one his 25 dependants.

    There is no RPT teacher who could be said to be my “dependent.” I think that comment was insulting to the 25 good women and men who are supporting our work. If anything my work is dependent on them.

    And with that, comments closed.